Crimes Against a Book Club by Cooperman Kathy

Author:Cooperman, Kathy [Cooperman, Kathy]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781503942981
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing
Published: 2017-05-01T04:00:00+00:00

Annie had read The Cat in the Hat to her kids dozens of times. They loved the chaos that resulted when kids let the free-spirited, troublemaking cat enter their house while their mother was out. Annie had a hard time enjoying the book—chaos had reigned in her childhood whenever her mother was in.

27

ANNIE’S EASY JOB

Annie was running on less than three hours of sleep. The night before, she had blown two hours sewing Maddie’s tree costume for her heavy-handed class play about recycling. Then she’d spent another hour—an hour!—mixing four jars of Étinav. It had taken forever to get the blend just right. She had to keep tweaking the concoction. She couldn’t afford to waste a single gram of cocaine.

By the time she managed to get the cocaine to dissolve properly, it was already past two in the morning. She ladled the mixture into four jars, plodded upstairs, and collapsed into bed. An hour later, she woke to the sound of a child wailing. She trudged down the hall to find a fevered Rachel sitting up in her crib, her clothes smattered with vomit. Annie lifted Rachel out, cleaned her up with warm washcloths, and changed the bedding. She had just gotten Rachel back to sleep when Oscar wandered in. Without saying a word, he walked over to Annie, leaned his head against her shoulder, and threw up all over her.

Now Annie had two sick kids and one angry one. Maddie was furious because Annie wouldn’t be able to make it to her dreary class propaganda play that evening. Annie tried to soothe her, promising, “But Daddy will be there. He’ll take pictures and everything.”

Maddie folded her arms tight against her chest and frowned. She looked like an angry genie. “I don’t want Daddy there! I want you! Moms are supposed to be at everything!”

Annie cooed, “Honey, I would love to be there. Really, I would. But I have to stay here and take care of Rachel and Oscar.”

Maddie protested, “It’s not fair! You’re always with Oscar. He goes to the doctor with you all the time! You love him best!”

Just then the phone brayed, saving Annie from regurgitating her spiel about how she loved each of her children immensely but in absolutely equal amounts. Annie picked up the receiver and mumbled hello.

Her mother commanded, “Speak clearly, Annabelle. You must enunciate each syllable. Let your words fill the room!” Although cigarettes had lowered Chloe’s voice, she still spoke with the perfect diction and projection she’d mastered in drama school.

Pointedly refusing to take her mother’s advice, Annie mumbled, “Wha—is—it, Mom?”

Chloe sighed theatrically. Her pearls of wisdom were wasted. “I was calling to arrange a little visit.”

Annie bit down on her lower lip. “Mom, things are so chaotic around here right now. I’m not sure I can handle a houseguest.”

Chloe huffed, “Is that all I am to you? A houseguest?”

“No, of course not. It’s just that I have a lot on my plate, and—”

“Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you. I didn’t realize that my presence would be such a burden.

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